... I probably won't provide Smogs chapter two in September as promised.
I mean. I already cringed at the pages I started uploading last September, and I didn't even have the school year in my head at the time. Now I do, and well, among the confusion that it made in my head, two things are crystal clear :
And this means that, although I can work on Smogs, and I have the time and motivation to do it, when I look at what I'm doing it's just not good enough ! We're at the end of july, and I'm not even at half what I should have finished, because it's not good. I know for a fact that I can do all of Smogs in less than three weeks of intense work (hell that's what happened on the second half of the first chapter. 140 p in 14 days, hell yea), and after some of the crazy deadlines we had in school I'm pretty sure I could do it in even less time. It will exist, it will be readable, it will do the work. But I won't like it.
And the whole point of Smogs, besides the story itself, is that I have fun doing it, and that I like it !
However... I'm not sure where I am with my tastes anymore. I am currently discovering that I enjoy a lot of things I didn't think I would, whereas things I LOVED, and I mean I-will-fight-you-with-my-teeth loved, now sounds pretty shitty to me. (It is so sad to listen to your usual playlist one morning, the same playlist you've had since highschool, and discover that every single track makes you suddenly cringe, and the only reason you can't delete is that, well, you used to love these things ? Or to watch one of your faves movies, read a book, anything, and notice after a while your inner monologue is a huge fat EW NO)
(and then it's vaguely disturbing that the movie you just REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO SEE was really, really enjoyable)
(so yeah. I'm confused.)
I tried to catch up my lack of culture this year and I'm not even close to being done, but this is a lot to process, along with all the new techniques we practiced, so. Yeah. Big mess inside my head.
Notably, I have to actually figure out what I want to say with Smogs. So far, the first chapter was an introduction, so it was ok to be kind of foggy (at least that's what I thought when I started it.) But now ? Now I'm not sure. I have to think some more. A lot more.
BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO IMPROVE MY DRAWING A LOT BECAUSE HOLY SCHMOLLY !!!!! I would go further into that, but that would be a huge ramble. Which I actually wrote, and deleted.
Basically. STEP UP MY GAME.
But luckily, if there is ONE THING I'm good at, it's setting a training schedule and dumbly stick to it.
Last year was actually a challenge to myself, telling myself "Can I ? Can I ? You bet your ass I can !!! I'm gonna draw it ALL !!!!!!!", but this year the challenge changed, since I know for a fact that I can do quantity, and now the true challenge (the hardest of them all) would be to reach some quality !
Plus, on the non-drawing challenges, I have a bunch of stuff to do I didn't have last year. I see now my previous summer was a wonder of straight-forwardness and a heaven of lazyness, hahaha.
ANYWAY IT'S STILL THE HOLIDAYS, AND I WAS LINKED THIS, SO, HAVE AN AMV.